Just cropdusted the office
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
