ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
