Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
