you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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