I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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