Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
