Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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