I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
