in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
