Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
