Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
there is glitter all over my balls
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
