His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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