forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
false alarm, still single
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