I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
