Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
