So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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