don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
