Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize