we have pet lesbian snakes
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
