i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
