there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I am available for nakedness
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
