god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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