Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
