; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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