I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
