Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
only you would photoshop your dick
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
