I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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