He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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