I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You smell like stripper and shame
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
