His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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