Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
