If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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