Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
