I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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