I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
