I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
