I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize