Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
where are my eyebrows?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
