I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
