I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
