Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
