her vagine was all disorganized.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
