Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
my shit smells like andre
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
