All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
