I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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