i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Randomize
