I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Randomize
