We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
