I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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