Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
