One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
