Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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