ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
