u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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