They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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