i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
