You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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