Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
