She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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