He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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