this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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