So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize